Christopher Gutierrez – Industry Interview

As part of our decision to try and expand our content a bit, I’ve interviewed Christopher Gutierrez. He has a new book called “On the Upswing of Life, Love, and Regret.” Trust me, this one’s worth reading.

Trevor: For those who don’t know who you are, could you please tell us a little about yourself?

Chris: My name is Christopher Gutierrez, I recently self-published a book called, “On the Upswing of Life, Love and Regret”. Most people know me as the dude “Hey Chris” from the Falloutboy song ‘Grenade Jumper’.

Trevor: You got your own website this year, AskHeyChris.com. What inspired you to do so?

Chris: Years ago, FOB had a contest that I judged. My internet contact info was posted for thousands of 14 year old shut-ins to abuse. My instant messenger often froze my computer so I started my livejournal as a tongue-in-cheek response to their questions. I would paste the link in the IM window and ridiculousness ensued. Over the years I managed to fool thousands of people into thinking I know what I’m talking about. The website is merely an extension of the LJ.

Trevor:This past year, you completed the Chicago Marathon, crossing something off your list of life goals. What else is on that list?

Chris: Haha. Every year I add more goals to the list than I scratch off. Its my “list of stuff to do before I die”. There’s everything from learning how to play the piano to doing the running of the bulls to watching the entire Star Wars trilogy in one day. Learning how to do that breakdancing move the helicopter is definitely at the top.

Trevor:What was the process of getting your book into the form that we can see it in now?

Chris:First you have to have a rabid fan base of bored teenagers assault you with requests for a book. Then you come up with story ideas. Then you make your life sound as cool as you possibly can without lying. Then you sit back and marvel at all the time you just expended dredging up those emotions and you hope that its enough. Then you find 2 amazingly intelligent people who will work for damn near next to nothing named Adam, who is a honors english creative writing teacher and Sara, who is a copyright editor of text books proof read and edit your 3rd grade chicken scratch. Then you spend twice as long editing the stories as you did on writing them. Then you get an wonderful girl named Lindsey to take a bunch of sensitive artist pictures of you in a shady alley. Then you find an out of work graphic designer named John do the book layout for you because he feels sorry for your broke ass, you pay him in pizza and Thai food. Then you find a printer online who will print your self-absorbed little stories into a little book at a cost of thousands of dollars you don’t have. Then you convince a few people into believing in your crappy dream of publishing your own book and you borrow more money than you’ve ever had in your bank account at one time. Then you send out all the files to said printer and wait for your proof to be sent back to you. Then you approve the proof and pay an extra $400 for rush shipping so hundreds of grubby little lurkers can get their paws on it by christmas. Then because you can’t trust your neighbors in your apartment building you have 1000 books shipped to your work. Then when they arrive you frantically tear open a box, grab the book, hold it up in front of your face and let out the longest sigh ever.

Trevor:You’ve been informed by “Borders Books” that they will be carrying your book in their stores. Did you ever picture something like that happening?

Chris:I sent the book in to Borders on a whim. I figured the book would go straight into the trash, that was until I received a phone call at work from a representative telling me they actually liked my book about stupid boy pee pee antics. Currently i am whoring myself out to distributors, asking them to carry my book as Borders will not purchase books from individuals.

Trevor:You’re doing readings at schools now and are looking to do more. What all will these sessions be consisting of?

Chris:The readings at the schools will consist of me nervously standing in front of small groups of people desperately trying to entertain them with childhood tales of mayhem. I’ll read a couple of stories from the book, a couple from the upcoming book, and a handful of journal entries. Then I will stand back and pray that no one throws anything at my face.

Trevor:What are some of your favorite stories from the book?

Chris:Well April, 1983 was cathartic for me because as my fingers were moving and I was staring at the screen I could believe what I was writing. A lot of suppressed memories came out and at times was a bit difficult to get through. While Young, Poor and Snotty is my least favorite story I love reading it because it takes me back to amazing and desperate times fueled by sex and general anarchy. It’s written like shit and there is absolutely no continuity, but as I get older and those nights begin to fade, I’m just glad I managed to put it all down before its all lost to alzheimers.

Trevor:How did music affect the way you looked at life?

Chris:Music not only affected the way I looked at life, it changed, altered, and strengthened my views on damn near everything I was ever taught. from the Sex Pistols to the Dead Kennedys to Los Crudos to Propagandhi to Youth of Today, there are songs by these bands that I hold as pure gospel. I’ve learned more from some records than from entire religions. Although the music is merely the vessel for the message, the message of this philosophy is one of pure fucking heart and if you dont see that, then you dont fucking get it.

Trevor:If you could have any three defunct bands(dead or alive) tour together, who would it be?

Chris:Minor Threat. Black Flag. Van-Halen with David Lee Roth. But not together. I would lose my shit.

Trevor:What is your opinion on the state of the music industry today, such as the RIAA lawsuits?

Chris:Eh, thats tricky. I can only assume your question is directed at file sharing. From one stand point I understand how as a band you put so much blood, sweat and tears into creating music and something you love and you would hope to get paid for it and to not have people “steal” it. But it is “art” I suppose and how do you put a price tag on that? There are small bands who may get hurt from this, but as a positive, sharing files is just that, sharing, which is also promotion. Personally, I think fuck big bands. to me its ludicrous that people make millions from playing music, just as I see it ridiculous that sports players make millions, but thats another rant altogether. So when Metallica bitches about someone downloading ‘Battery’ I say fuck you, fuck you in your fucking mansion, driving your ferraris and living in the top 1% of people in this world. how dare you look at struggling college kids who actually LIKE and support your band and sue them? what these greedy bastards dont realize is that for every song someone steals, that stolen song is an advertisement for at least a handful more people and can potentially turn more people into fans.

Trevor:What do you have planned for the coming year as far as the website and a new book go?

Chris:The website is difficult for me to update as much as I would like. But as far as other projects; by the summer I would like to have my new book out. It will be similar to the first book as far as content and style only longer, beefier with better stories and written better. The release date is the beginning of warped tour. After that I will be putting out an audio book so you can hear my juvenile ass tell my childish stories. A 3rd book is already in the works and is completely different than anything else but keep that on the downlow.

AskHeyChris.com
Livejournal