Driven Far Off

This interview has been a long time coming. When I say a long time, I mean months and months. However, due to Chris being the awesome dude he is, we didn’t give up. After several delete button mistakes, file scavenger hunts, and waiting, here’s the follow up interview with Christopher Gutierrez.

Trevor: 1. How’s all your book business going right now? Are people still responding to it well?

Chris: “Business”? If by “business” you mean packing up books in my basement apartment, well then I suppose its doing well enough to be sold out of the first printing.
Surprisingly, its been met with wonderful reviews. Every day i get emails everywhere from France to Brazil to Australia telling me how much they loved the book. I managed to fool everyone.

Trevor: 2. Why the idea to do a spoken word cd? What all will be included on the disc?

Chris: Well, when I began doing the voice posts, some of the lurkers seemed to like hearing my whiny voice. Someone along the line put the idea in my head that I should take my favorite posts, read them and make it into a cd. So, because I need something to keep me busy until the next book out, I got together with my friend Eric and we went to his place of work and stole studio time.

Trevor: 3. What new stories are you excited about for your new book?

Chris: I have 14 planned for the second book. The same amount as the first but with the new stories I want them to be more in depth and twice as long. Its hard for me to go back and read the first book without thinking, “Man, i wasted some good stories in here, I could have told them so much better.” I refuse to make the same mistake with the second book.
As of today I have 6 stories written, the two that I’m most happy with are my accounts of running my first marathon and the second being the terrifying experience of running with the bulls in pamplona, spain…but as far as humor goes, the one about a failed attempt at a 3-some will definitely ensure I wont be able to let my mother read this next book as well.

Trevor: 4. How did your college reading go?

Chris: The people that invited me out to Adams State College in Colorado couldnt have been more amazing. From the moment they picked me up at the airport, to the night of the reading, to lunch and dinner…I couldnt have asked for a better reception. Pssh, and dont forget the fact that they managed to coax the school into spending money to fly out some loud mouthed douche bag and pay him to stand behind a podium and talk about beating off and the exploits of his raging ego. awesomeness all around.

Trevor: 5. You’ve been at the center of several internet drama scenarios. How do you deal with/respond to all the speculation and rumors that start?

Chris: The positive thing about all of the attention is you grow thick skin really fast and you learn how to take criticism well. You can call me every name in the book and insult every facet of my life, I dont mind. its actually entertaining to see the interesting ways people will come at you and try to get get under your skin. Everything from calling my ex girlfriend a whore to saying my mother should have aborted me. Anyomous kids pontificating behind a keyboard will do just about anything to get a rise out of you. I find it amusing.
The only thing that actually bothered me a bit was the way that I got “accused” for doing things I never did, referring to the leaking of the pictures that I was constantly accused and convicted of. I addressed it in a couple lines once and said that while it would have been awesome revenge had I done it but sadly I wasnt responsible, yet countless gossip sites and radio stations continued to place the blame on me, because as they put it, “Who would have motive?” I understand why they would think as much but goddamn, I’m a poor motherfucker, dont you think I would have sold that shit outright if I had em? For the record, I never “hacked” anyones shit and I never “leaked” any pictures. I’ve been offered ridiculous compensation to discuss in depth the drama, secrets and my relationship but I have and will continue to turn them down.

Trevor: 6. What are some instant messages that automatically qualify as a “block” on your buddy list?
Chris: “Why are you on my buddy list?”
“Who are you?”
“Hey Chris, you were our only friend.”

I’ve mentioned this multiple times yet I still maintain a healthy block list of over 2000 people with a minimum of 20 additions per day. Be nice and respectful and if I have time, I’ll respond. Keep it quick and don’t be a pest. That’s all I ask.

Trevor: 7. How did the “Ask Hey Chris” hoodie come about?

Chris: I took an extended vacation after Colorado to hang with some friends in LA. While I was out there I rolled up to the Neighborhoodies store and got an idea to take a line I wrote a while back and make a hoodie out of it. Jokingly, I posted some pictures of me wearing it and a handful of lurkers asked where I had gotten it. It’s supply and demand. Lurkers wanted it, and with the help of some awesome kids over at oaththreadline.com we supplied it.

Trevor: 8. When will you be taking over “Sex Talk With Sue” on Oxygen?

Chris: Honestly, I would love to discuss more sexual topics but I also know that a large amount of the lurkers are either underage or inexperienced so a lot of the humor goes over their heads. Who knows, I have a lot of perverted shit rolling around in my head. Maybe ill come out with a “how to correctly masturbate into your roommates sock” post after this.

Trevor: 9. More publications are beginning to interview you. How do you react to the requests? Did you ever think you’d get to be this well-known?

Chris: I always preface each interview with, “You know im not in a band and im just some douchebag, right?”
Not my fault if someone wants to waste their time talking to a perverted egomaniac.
Honestly, I never saw the attention coming.

Trevor: 10. I know I said I would never ask you a Fall Out Boy question, but how do you respond to things like, “Oh, he’s only riding on their coat tails?” because in my opinion, that’s pretty much bullshit.

Chris: Well, it is and it isnt.
I was handed something, whether I wanted it or not. Someone wrote a song about me and I got attention from it. Ridiculous or not, it was there. So what do you do with it? Seriously, when people comment with “you’re just exploiting it” I say, “yeah, to an extent I am.” I wouldnt say I was irresponsible with it, but fuck, what would you do? You didnt ask for the attention but all of a sudden thousands of people are listening to you, so what do you do? So yes, I do use it but I try and use it in the most useful way I see fit. I try and make kids think. I dont want people to necessarily agree with me and I’m not saying I’m the most intelligent mother fucker out there, I simply want to see the exchange of ideas put back into this community. It discourages me when I hear kids say, “I’m just here for the music, I dont want to hear about politics or preaching,” as if ideas are poison. It’s sad to see kids who should be filled with youthful energy pacified by the dumbing down of “punk rock”. People will have their opinions and I will have mine. As long as theyre still reading what I have to say, I know I’m still effecting them in some way. So I win. Haha.

Trevor: 11. Do you ever wish you could take it all back and go back to not having so much attention?

Chris: Nope. Not at all. I’ve always been like this, even before livejournals.

Trevor: 12. If you could make a soundtrack to map out a typical day in your life, what would the track listing be?

Chris: Wow, excellent question.
Wake to The Rocket Summer.
Shower to the Misfits, because I have been for the past 16 years.
Walk to work to ‘Search and Destroy’ by Iggy and the Stooges.
On the train to My Chemical Romance, because it makes me feel even more of an outcast amongst the suits.
Run to Modern Life is War, Throwdown, Judge or Kid Dynamite.
Relax to Red Sparowes.
Watch the DMX reality show.
Have sex to Danzig and She Wants Revenge.
Wind down to Billy Joel and Simon and Garfunkle.

Trevor: 13. What bands should everybody be listening to already, and what bands should they look out for in the future?

Chris: Well, if you’re not listening to Black Flag, Halifax, American Nightmare, Rise Against, Van Halen, Tupac, Lifetime, The Cure, Naked Raygun, Modern Life Is War or the Academy then you basically have the worst taste in music.
You need to be looking out for Ruiner, The Kooks and 2*sweet.

Trevor: 14. Do you have anything else planned for the future as far as your internet celebrity goes?

Chris: “Internet celebrity”…I dont think its possible to ever say those two words without a hint of sarcasm or condescention.
Well, I have the spoken word cd recorded and finished, I’m looking to have a release date at the end of August and the second book out by Christmas. I will also be putting out some shirts this summer through the oaththreadline clothing company and by fall having a new stock of the hoodies back for sale.
Other than that, I plan on doing a lot more speakings this year and continuing to run my mouth and tell my adventures via livejournal.

Chris’ Livejournal